How to cope with negative body image, IRL
Let’s just say, before the wedding even started… my anxiety and body image were already simmering.
It kicked off the night before, at a rehearsal cocktail event. My body image and anxiety were chatting away in my head, and not in a cute way.
Step 1: Name It Out Loud
I live with pretty bad social anxiety, and that night I wasn’t feeling totally comfortable in my body.
When my body image gets loud like that, I need to acknowledge it. So when my husband and I got back to our room, I told him:
“My body image is not happy right now.”
For me, saying it out loud helps release it from my head. It lets the people around me know why I might not be fully present and that I need their support right now.
Step 2: Know Your Triggers
Fast forward to the wedding day. From Instagram alone, you would’ve seen a smiling, glowing version of me. But internally? It was messy.
I realized I was in the perfect storm of body image triggers:
Wearing clothes I’m not used to (formal event clothes, a dress I wasn’t 100% comfortable in)
Being in a stressful social environment (remember: big social anxiety)
Seeing people I hadn’t in years (hello, teenage Tory part)
Body comparison (“Why does it look like no one else’s body has changed but mine?”)
All of that left me in my head, disconnected from my body, and feeling anything but grounded. When I talked about it with my body image coach later that week, I realized I’d been at a 9/10 activation level. Rough.
Step 3: Create a Safety Plan for After
The next day, I did things I knew would help me come back to myself:
Put on comfy clothes for the drive home (game-changing for long sitting)
Snuggled my son
Ate foods I love
Let myself rest
The thoughts completely deactivated. I’m proud of how quickly I can downshift now—thanks to years of body image work and the anchoring tools I practice.
Step 4: Have a Processing Partner
I process these moments with my body image coach, or therapist… Just knowing I’ll have a space to unpack it later gives me relief in the moment. A friend, dietitian, therapist, partner - whatever feels safe for you!
Step 5: Remember—It’s Not About Your Body
Through my own work, I’ve learned my body image flare-ups are often about something else—stress, social overwhelm, anxiety—not actually my body. My body just becomes the easiest scapegoat.
If you’re heading into a special event you’re dreading, or you’ve been in a similar situation—know you’re not alone.
Even as someone who does this work professionally, I still get hit with body image ick. The difference now is:
I have tools
I have people I can talk to
I know it won’t last forever
You deserve that kind of support too.
📌 Quick-Reference: Coping with Negative Body Image at Events
Name it out loud — Tell a trusted person what’s going on so it’s not just in your head.
Identify your triggers — Clothing, social settings, old acquaintances, comparison—know what tends to activate you. Write them down.
Have a “anchoring tools” plan — Schedule comfort: soft clothes, nourishing food, rest, connection with people who love you.
Find your processing partner — A coach, therapist, or friend who can hold space for you later.
Remind yourself — It’s usually not about your body; your mind is using it as a scapegoat for something deeper.
Save this list for the next time you have a big event—and know you’re not the only one navigating these feelings.
